The Lonliness of Youth

I spent so many years locked inside, nary a thought verbalized that wasn't of imminent importance. I got the help I needed and I can see in my reflections the absurdity of eras past, but I feel their shadow on the my progressing future.
My breaths are shallow.
My thoughts won't cease.
I question the help I sought because if the end result was correct then I wouldn't have to deal with these invisible eyes and make-believe worlds that twist in and out of reality, only leaving their impression of false histories and blocked memories.
It's a struggle to keep focus when that which is at the back of your mind is the back of your life.

a heart-filled reaction to dissatisfaction

these words are telling more than they let on, they composure and place hardly indicative of the real sentences that we string together with sweaty palms and shaking voices. for once you are making a choice to achieve that which has been here all along...

Currently I am listening to this album, you should to:
City of Caterpillar - s/t (2002)